The American Dream -An Interview With My Mom
In August, my grandma (my last living grandparent) passed away. It brought me to the sad realization that my mom was only able to see her mom a couple of times since she emigrated from Sierra Leone to England, to the United States.
Then it made me think even deeper about how many parents like mine, left their home country at a young age, and moved to places like the United States, England, and Canada for a better life. They moved to these countries, deemed the land of opportunity and greatness, not knowing what they were getting themselves into. I was so intrigued by the thought that I decided to interview my mom and ask her about her journey from Sierra Leone to England, to her now home away from home, America.
Like a lot of other foreigners, television played a role in my mom’s idea of what life was like overseas. “Well, they show you in the movies and shows that living abroad is everything, everything is perfect. We think overseas is better and we see our mates that have already been living there, come home for the holidays. We admire them.” She continues, “They dress nicely, they're getting a good education, they have more opportunities. That's how we see it. So we all want to come too.” My mom wanted a better opportunity and wanted to see England for herself, so she did. In the 1980s, my mom packed her bags and left her family in Sierra Leone and moved to England in her early twenties.
So when you decided to leave Sierra Leone, were you scared? Were you nervous?
I was very happy, not knowing what I was going to get into, but I was very happy to leave Sierra Leone. I was excited, but there was a lot of stumbling when I got there with paperwork and immigration. You don't know anything about that. They never explained that side of it to us and you won't know until you get there and face it. I didn't know much about how the laws were. Like when you arrive at the airport, the first thing they give you is a three-month visa. Which means after the three-month visit, you have to go back or you’re considered illegal. So before my visa expired, I registered and went to school to extend my visa. That went on for about two years.
Let’s back-track a bit. When you arrived in England, what were your initial thoughts? What was it like the first few months living there?
It was different, it was a nice environment, I stayed with my friend. Everything seemed so small to me, especially in England. The houses, the streets, everything. But aside from that, I quickly learned that you have to work because it's not easy. My first job was working in this bakery where I used to be a cashier.
Fast forward to the 1990s, after staying in England for a few years, my mom made her way to the United States to live with her brother. She lived in the Bronx with my Uncle, who has since passed away. But my mom wasn’t too fond of the big apple, it was a new world in comparison to her life in London, especially the train system. “When I came to New York, I was a little surprised at how different it was. The Bronx was a totally different setup. I had to take the train to get around and I was very scared because I saw a lot of homeless people. I was so scared, I didn’t understand.”
A couple of years and a couple of other cities later, my mom got married and gave birth to her first child, me. She spent a large chunk of her life in Pennsylvania, where I was born and raised. A lot of major life changes took place over the next few years, including my mom getting remarried, giving birth to my sisters, and later relocating to New Jersey.
So you went back to Sierra Leone in the year 2000, and that was the first time you went back since leaving in 1980s. That’s a really long time.
A very long time and it went by so fast.
And you recently visited Sierra Leone again this past May. So that makes 19 years since your last visit. What were your reasons for not going back for such a long time?
I had children so it wasn't easy for me to just leave them, especially when they were young. It was just me and my husband, I didn't want to leave them. I was always worried, afraid. What if something happens to me if I go there because you never know. My country is very unstable.
Now that you've been here after all these years, do you think that it was worth it leaving? Just picking up your things and relocating, you know, besides having a family, etc.
I don't know what would have happened to me if I stayed. It could've been better or it could've been worse, but I'm thankful for the life I've had. The life that I have.
With the struggles you experienced moving from country to country, city to city, would you do things differently? If you had known what you know now, would you change anything?
I don't think so. I would have still made the move like I did. Even right now when you tell people in Africa the stories of us living here, they don't want to hear it. They want to come here and see it for themselves. They think you just pick money from trees, they think you don't work for it.
It’s not easy. The average person who's living in America is living paycheck to paycheck. But what’s admirable is that you still take a portion of your money and you send it back home. That's a sacrifice. Even if you don't have it, you still send it.
You still have to help them a lot. Because that money you send, they use it to buy food, pay rent, and all of that. We're better off than some of them I would say. You have something to eat everyday, food to put on the table, and you have a place to sleep. I mean if you can and are able to work, because some people are lazy. There are always jobs available. You can find something if you're willing to work. Even though the money might not be enough, you just have to regulate yourself and manage it.
This was just a snippet of my mom’s life and her journey. I’m appreciative that she was open to sharing some of her story with me to share with others. If you are blessed enough to still have parents around and have a close relationship with them, I encourage you to talk to them, to learn who they are, to learn their story. Sometimes we view our parents as just being our parents, forgetting that they are human too. They had a life before having us and they’ve experienced their own struggles. They’ve sacrificed a lot in order to give us the best life that they can. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed.
